One Social Con’s View of SSM (It’s not that Simple)

Even more complicated than I thought then


My friend Matt got on a Twitter sermon about the gay couple in New York who hosted Ted Cruz and then faced the hive’s wrath.

Until they relented and apologized.

I picked up his thread kind of in the middle, when I saw this:

We see this truth in practice at an ever-accelerating rate these days.

A while back…

March 17, 2013, to be exact, I risked sharing my thought on same sex marriage with my Facebook friends.

Definitely not knowing what their response would be.

You might say I have a … hmmm…

…  interesting mix of friends—with a definite mix of viewpoints.

Anyway, here’s what I said:

May I talk about an issue that’s caused a lot controversy?

I just want to share one man’s take on certain parts of it. Not to stir up anything or even to convince anyone of anything. Simply add my personal piece to the puzzle.

It’s about gay marriage.

Actually, I don’t even know where I stand on the matter, big picture. If I had to vote I’m not sure which way I would go.

There’s two things I think. Actually, there’s one thing I feel and the other I have a conviction on.

Neither of them has anything to do with personal moral behavior.

The feeling thing. I was watching a TV show many years ago. Part of the story arc was a gay couple, one of them facing end-of-life circumstances. The show illustrated the problems that committed couples who are not married face with end-of-life decisions–who gets to make the call, and so forth. I do not, and still do not, think that compassion allows us to leave those issues unresolved. In this matter, and similar ones I actually encounter as part of my job, I am on the side of, or at least sympathetic, to those calling for gay marriage rights.

The conviction thing. I think it’s important, however we come down on this contentious issue, that we don’t unravel society. We need to be careful because we don’t know all the outcomes of making a radical change in a millenia-old institution. That’s one reason I am never on the side of litigants who won’t let the people in each state decide these things. I AM on the side of those who work to build incremental solutions to problems like my end-of-life scenario.

Anyway, my two bits.

My post only got one response, but it was cool:

I have had friends in committed gay relationships, married in states that allow it, be denied visitation rights during hospitalizations. As a future nurse the legal aspect of it versus the calling to provide patients with comfort and compassionate care is a challenge. I have suggested to many gay couples that they get a durable power of attorney written up to cover the legal ramifications of hospitalization/end of life decisions.

I can get many more people on board with civil unions but that raises the issue of separate but equal being inherently unequal as found in Brown vs. the Board of Education and brings to light the civil rights aspect of the issue.

Regardless, when it comes down to it I support gay marriage because I have seen enough of the darkness this world has to offer that I believe that love and lifelong commitment should be embraced regardless of gender.

Just my two cents. I really appreciate how you brought this up. Open, honest dialog about controversial issues is the only way common grounds, compassion, and understanding can be found.

“Open, honest dialogue.”

Since then we’ve had judicial overreach.

Fascistic local workplace enforcement.

And now, a Republican meets with some gay guys and…

Dialogue seems to be done for.

For the time being, anyway.

Any suggestions?


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